What heaven! You met a new man on a dating site and he is simply perfect and you can actually see yourself with him for a long time down the road. He is everything you want but there is something in the back of your head, a small voice telling you something is just a bit off about him. This reaction is your instinct talking to you and it is important to listen to it. There is a chance this wonderful man may be married and you do not even know it. This may not always be the case and sometimes your inner voice can be wrong but to make sure, check out the 10 signs the man you’re talking to is married:
- Inconsistent Behavior – A man who is inconsistent is probably hiding something from you. If he is supposed to meet you online and then he always has an excuse or a work emergency he probably has a wife who needs his time more than you do. While there are instances where work can get in the way of dating, if he is inconsistent on a regular basis then there is a high chance that he is not what he claims to be. This is a huge warning sign and one that should not be taken lightly. It may be little things like where he lives or his living situation that screams out inconsistencies but it is important to pay attention to these things.
- His Availability – When does he want to see you or when can you chat with him online? Does he have weird hours like only late at night or during the day when he is at work? This can be another huge sign that he is married and is making time for you when he has no distractions or chances of being caught at home. While there are men who have weird working hours, this is something that can be damaging when put together with other signs.
- His Answers to Direct Questions – When you are in the getting to know him stage of the relationship and you are chatting with him online, ask him direct personal questions like where did he grow up, what college did he attend and where does he live now. Keep these questions on hand to ask him again a couple of weeks later and see if his responses match up. The man who is trying to be what he is not will probably lie initially and you may catch him in those lies. Just remember to ask questions that someone would not normally lie about and do not ask them all in the same conversation like you are grilling or interrogating him.
- Bathroom Habits Say a Lot – Look, at the end of the day, a single man who lives on his own or with male roommates does not have the best bathroom habits. They leave the toilet seat up because there are no females to put it down for. A married man may very well put the toilet seat down because his wife prefers him to do this and it is a courtesy he has extended her. Now this is not to say that a single guy will not be polite and put yours down because it is your place but the odds are he’ll slip up once in a while and accidentally leave the seat up.
- Texting Vs Phone Calls – If your man almost always texts you and never calls you unless it is late at night, that is another warning signal. While texting is perfectly normal for most couples, they also talk on the phone too. If he is not talking to you on the phone this is because there is someone with him he does not want to overhear your conversation. This someone is more than likely his wife or his children. While it is normal when finding love online to take things slow before getting to the phone call stage, too much time before a phone call is a huge red flag.
- Weird Sexual Appetite – You have met your man and you have been on dates and you really like him so you both decide it is time for the relationship to become intimate. When it does, you realize that all of your encounters involve kinky or over the top sexual positions or appetites. There are men who are only interested in that kind of intimacy but it can also be because he is already getting the normal sex at home and only wants another woman so he can do his experimentation and fantasies with you.
- Never Uses a Credit Card –If the man you are dating never ever uses a credit card this is probably because he does not want to leave a paper trail that his will find. This is a time when most people do not carry around cash particularly when they go out to dinner. It is a paperless society and there are few people who do not have a debit or credit card. Now this is not to say that a man cannot carry cash, but if he paying for a room at a bed and breakfast with cash or your weekend cruise was paid for with cash, there is a reason he wants it that way and it has nothing to do with you.
- Frequently Drops Offline – Everybody has internet issues and loses their connection at one time or another. But if you are in the middle of a conversation and he suddenly drops offline with you, he may have to shut down the chat or get caught by his wife. If this happens frequently, then it is pretty obvious he is married and is simply shutting down his computer so his wife does not see his chat with you.
- Only Takes You To the Same Places – A married man is never going to take you to a place that he frequents with his wife. If they have an active social life this may leave very few places where he can take you to comfortably without worry of getting caught by his wife or her friends. If you only go out to the same movie theater, the same restaurant or the same side of town, there is a great possibility that he is married and even while you are out, he’s hiding you.
- Getting Back to the Instincts – We talked about your instincts in the first section of this article and that is probably your biggest clue. If it just doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. one or two of the above signs may not be enough to prove a man is married, but if you put many of them together and your instincts are screaming at you, end the relationship and move on with your life.
It is never easy finding out that a man you care about is married and that you are the other woman. Whatever you do, if he is married, end the relationship no matter what he promises you. The majority of married men that have affairs never leave their wives for another woman and they are not leaving theirs for you.
We are all adults here and know that not everyone joins an online dating site to find true love or the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Some join simply to meet new people to have new experiences with and they have no intention of settling down with anybody. There is no pressure in this type of dating and the relationships are typically superficial at best. These are the dating sites where adults to go to meet other adults to have intimate encounters with.
There is certain anonymity to these sites that appeal to singles who want to meet new people but who do not necessarily want to start a long term relationship with. People go on these sites for this reason but in order to meet people you have to have a profile that really stands out. The following tips are for making an online adult dating profile that gets attention:
- Be Anonymous but Careful at the Same Time – Even though you are not looking for a long term relationship, you still need to protect yourself when hooking up with a stranger for a casual encounter. Do not tell them too much about yourself like your home address or where you work. This is not really a dating situation so these are not questions you should be asked anyway. Never put your financial information on your profile or you leave yourself open to exploitation.
- Set Up a Separate Email – Never use your main or work email when setting up a profile on an adult dating site. You can be traced very easily by a computer savvy con artist by your email address particularly your work email. This gives them not only your home address and personal information in your work files, but they also know where you work which can be dangerous if someone gets an unhealthy attachment to you after an encounter. Setting up an email that has none of your personal information attached to it allows you more anonymity.
- Be Direct About Your Likes and Dislikes – Since you are basically looking for someone with whom to share intimate relations with, you should let them know up front what turns you on and what turns you off. Do not be afraid to say no to certain situations that would make you uncomfortable. You will find someone who wants the same things you do and there are plenty of people out there with the same tastes. Do not think that you may be turning someone away if you do not share their sexual appetites.
- Posting Photos – While this is an adult dating site, you still have to remember that these photos are public property once you put them on a website. If you do not want them used inappropriately or getting into the wrong hands, save the nudity for direct emails or other forms of communication. While sending any type of nude photo has its risks, you will have a bit more privacy if you send them this way rather than posting them. If nudity is not an issue for you then you can certainly post all you want but remember the photos should be up to date ones so your potential partner sees the real you.
The internet is a wonderful place and there is so much technology today that it seems almost silly not to post a video on your adult dating website. Now, you may think that the same rules apply here as to posting photographs and you would be right. Videos, however, come with their own set of issues so it is important to get separate tips on how to make a really good video that does not scare off any potential intimate partner.
- Clothing Optional – Just as with the photos, your video is clothing optional and totally up to what you are comfortable with. And just like your photo, this will be online and anyone who views your profile can also view your video. Think about how this concept makes you feel before choosing one way or another. For some, it is a turn on to know a complete stranger is checking you out without you even knowing and for others this can make them very uncomfortable.
- Where to Film – You want your video to be a great representation of you so you should choose a spot that has good lighting and where you are comfortable. You can have a friend shoot the video or you can use a tripod or computer video camera and make the video by yourself. If you plan on using nudity, you will probably want to be in your bed or in a comfortable chair where you can show off your “assets” in their best light.
- Talk About Yourself – This is where you can really put your best foot forward and let people really get to know you. While not everyone can write a stunning profile description of them, most people can at least talk and show their personality. While you may be nervous, try to be yourself and let the people who are looking at the video know who you really are. Don’t be afraid to talk yourself up either, while there are times when you don’t want to toot your own horn, this is not one of those times.
- Try for Originality – While there is no prize for being original and you won’t win an academy award for a great adult dating site video, you still want to be as original as possible. This makes your profile stand out from the others. Look at other videos and see what other people have posted. If you see a trend, stay away from it and do something completely different. This may mean taking more time to post the video but the end results are well worth it.
- Do Test Runs – Do not be afraid to do a couple test or practice runs to see how the video will turn out when you eventually post it. You should be honest with yourself about how you look and the flow of the video. It may take a couple trial runs before you are comfortable in front of the camera and are ready to do a real take. Do not worry if you still have a couple of “do overs” after you are ready to take the real video. You will get the perfect video and again, the end result will show your hard work.
Setting up an online dating profile and video does not have to be a chore but you do have to put some work into if you want to make serious connections or any connections at all. Remember that these profiles are public so what you put out there can be seen by everyone on the site. If you are uncomfortable with nudity do not feel pressured into posting photographs or video without clothing if you do not want to. You can always send that content to the person you are interested from the email account you set up for this purpose. But most of all, remember that this venture into online dating is meant to be fun so, just have fun but be safe about it.